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How To Ask A Girl Out

If you’re curious, the title to this article are the keywords to a phrase that gets almost 100,000 searches per month. And well this is a virtual dude’s lounge so here we are.

For practically every man on the planet at some point in our lives, we’ve all had to try to break the code on breaking this invisible barrier that exists between man and woman. This is an age old question that is much like the game of golf. You can hone your craft, work to perfect your skill, study the game, develop a strategy yet still never quite master it because like a golf course, no two girls are the same. I could expound on this but it would just get me in trouble with the ladies who drop by to read what’s going on around here ; )

So here at the R&R lounge, we have compiled a list for you to reference the next time the opportunity arises and you need to know the best way how to ask a girl out.

1. Think before you speak.

For those of us who have ever worked in direct sales, we know that you can’t just go in ‘hot’ and shoot from the hip. You at least need to spend a couple of minutes thinking about what you want to say before you open your mouth and insert foot. What comes out you can’t put back in and in this case you seldom get a second chance. Consider what might interest HER—not you. Because think about it—what interests her should interest you if you want to win her over. So consider your ‘line.’

2. Be yourself.

In case you missed this profound point, I will repeat it. Just be yourself! “Why?” you ask. Thanks for asking. Because if you pretend to be something or someone you’re not, eventually the one you are trying to win favor with will realize you’re not who you portrayed yourself to be. You’re actually different. If she’s the right girl (more on that some other time,) then trust is paramount. If you want to ask a girl out and date her then honesty and transparency are a must otherwise, aside from maybe a photo-op you’re wasting your time and hers. Which leads me to the next point.

3. Step up your game.

Be creative. Don’t use the same old tired approach that every woman has heard a hundred times before from all of the guys she said no to. If she’s worth asking out, then she should be worth at least consideration for dating long term. If she’s worthy of a longterm relationship and possibly marriage, then she should get your best—whatever your best is. If you want her best, then she should get yours in return. A great rule for dating and relationships that are built to last is to make a daily habit of giving to them more than you ask for in return. Easier said than done. But still a viable goal. Don’t be lazy. Don’t take her for granted. Let her see the best side of you. It doesn’t mean you hide all of your warts and scars, but it does mean you should go out of your way to show her the ‘true you.’ And if you’re not bringing the heat, then you gotta step it up if you want to get a ‘yes’ from her.

4. Be humble yet confident.

Any woman worth having in your life wants a strong confident man that could possibly one day be the head of her family and her home. (See that kind of talk can get you in trouble with the females but remember this is a PC free-zone. Look it up. (Ephesians 5:22-25) In short, no pansies allowed. Confidence with humility is very attractive to most females. What is humility in this case? It means not disclosing your net worth, or the car you drive, or flaunting the label on your shirt, or giving her the ‘gun-show’ when you reach over to pick up something. If this applies to you, you know who you are ; ) Women of substance are drawn to confident guys with humble spirits.

5. Don’t give up.

If you are convinced this woman is worth pursuing and she says no the first time or ignores you or shrugs you off, stalking is a bad idea no matter what. But you can be persistent. Give her a few days and reach out to her again if you have her number. CALL HER. Don’t text. If she told you no to your face, do you really think a text is going to change her mind? She needs to hear your voice or better yet get some face time.

If she’s worth it, it’s important to have a plan. Consider your plan before acting on it. And of course, prayer is always a good thing. If you are supposed to be spending time with someone who you could potentially have a relationship with one day, don’t you think God would have something to do with it? Of course He does. So ask Him. Get his thoughts before you act. If you don’t feel comfortable inside, then maybe you are eyeing the wrong girl.


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